Nikki Glaser's Golden Globes Jokes: The Full Monologue, Videos, and Reactions

Nikki Glaser’s Golden Globes Monologue: Every Joke, Ranked & Reviewed

(Note: As the 2025 Golden Globes haven’t happened yet, this article is a speculative, comedic deep dive into what could have been. Think of it as comedic fan fiction.)

(Imagine Nikki Glaser strutting confidently onto the stage. The crowd roars. Here’s where the full monologue video would be embedded. Since it doesn’t exist yet, picture comedic gold.)

Nikki’s Golden Globes Jokes: A Play-by-Play

Ozempic, Oh My! Setup: “So, Ozempic. Hollywood’s hottest new accessory. I’m starting to think the red carpet is sponsored by a diabetes clinic.” Punchline: “I saw Nicole Kidman sharing a single crouton with a squirrel. A squirrel!” Reaction: (Hypothetical, obviously). Twitter explodes. #OzempicJoke trends. Half the internet is crying with laughter, the other half is debating the ethics of weight-loss jokes. (Imagine a hilarious pic here – maybe a squirrel in a tiny tuxedo.)
Freezer Burn: Setup: “You know, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. had that whole freezer thing….” Punchline: (Connecting it somehow to a nominated TV show – this is where Nikki’s genius would shine). Reaction: Crickets. Followed by bewildered murmurs. This one probably bombed. (Hypothetical video clip of the joke falling flat would go here.)
Timothée’s ‘Stache: Setup: “Timothée Chalamet. Is that a mustache, or did your eyebrows migrate south for the winter?” Punchline: (Probably something about Gen Z and ironic facial hair.) Reaction: Timothée, bless his heart, either laughs politely or looks utterly confused. The internet is divided. Is it funny, or just mean? (Hypothetical image of a confused/amused Timothée.)
Nicole & Keith: Forever? Setup: “Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. Still going strong! It’s inspiring.” Punchline: (Something slightly shady about how long they’ve lasted in Hollywood years.) Reaction: Nicole and Keith hold hands, smiling tightly. Are they amused, or plotting revenge? (Hypothetical short video clip.)
Selena & Benny: Just Friends? Setup: “Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco. Just friends, they say…” Punchline: (A sly innuendo about their relationship status). Reaction: Mild laughter. This one is safe, but effective. (Hypothetical comment section prompt: “Did this joke land for you?”)

Nikki’s Zingers: The TL;DR Version

Ozempic Joke: Hilarious or problematic? The internet is debating.
Freezer Joke: Probably a swing and a miss.
Timothée’s ‘Stache: Gen Z humor at its finest (or worst?).

Did Nikki Nail It?

So, did Nikki Glaser crush it, or was it a car crash? The jury’s still out (mostly because the “trial” hasn’t happened). This is where we’d analyze her performance, speculate on audience reception, and link to reviews (if they existed). We’d discuss the balance between her usual edgy style and the constraints of network TV. Did she play it safe, or push boundaries? It’s all conjecture at this point, but fun conjecture nonetheless.

More Golden Globes Goodness

(This is where you’d link to related content – best/worst dressed, winners list, other Golden Globes moments. Since this is a hypothetical scenario, these links would be to general Golden Globes information.)

Golden Globes Official Website (This is a real link.)

Who Hosted the 2025 Golden Globes – And Was It Funny? (A Hypothetical Analysis)

Let’s imagine Nikki Glaser did host the 2025 Golden Globes. The question on everyone’s mind would be: was she funny? This section would delve into her hypothetical performance, analyzing her joke selection, delivery, and audience reaction (all imagined, of course). We’d discuss her ability to balance edgy humor with the demands of a mainstream audience.

Watch Nikki Glaser’s Golden Globes Monologue – Every Joke (A Hypothetical Reconstruction)

Since no actual monologue exists, this section would present possible jokes Nikki might have told. We’d analyze each joke’s potential for success or controversy, considering the target, the comedic technique, and the current cultural climate. We’d also incorporate hypothetical social media reactions and critical reviews.

Did Nikki Glaser Bomb or Slay? Golden Globes 2025 Review (A Speculative Critique)

This section would provide a hypothetical “review” of Nikki’s performance. We’d discuss her strengths and weaknesses, compare her to previous Golden Globes hosts, and speculate on the impact of her hosting gig on her career.

The Most Controversial Nikki Glaser Golden Globes Jokes (A Preemptive Examination)

This section would focus on the potential for controversy, exploring the types of jokes that might have landed Nikki in hot water. We’d consider the boundaries of acceptable humor in a hypothetical 2025 context and analyze the potential fallout from any particularly risky jokes. It’s all about exploring the “what ifs” and the dynamics of comedy in a constantly evolving social landscape.